Beat Depression

Hello,

I am a 13 year old girl…I have very many good friends, a loving big sister who’s 38 years old, a mom and a dad. I recently moved from a very bad part of Oakland to a nice, calm town here in California. I made a friend named Sam. She showed me around everywhere and introduced me to people…shes such a great friend. Now she has moved but i saw her earlier today…we see each other a lot. The point is, I was doing very well as a 7th grader to a new school. But on November the 9th, 2001, my life was changed. My best friend in the world, Anna, was dead. I lost her to suicide. We had known each other since we were 2 and a half. I had earlier in my life been in a state of depression, and with her death it returned. First, I worried about my weight. I got lost in a world of thinness…I thought “just for a few days.” It hadnt gotten too bad when my friend Tara realised what was going on. She went to a friend of hers, Elena, who she thought could help me. And she did. It worked for a fair amount of time…she gave a talk and helped me understand it was a bad thing. But I was stupid. I still wanted to loose weight, and the cycle repeated three times. Finally, it ended. Not for good, but long enough for something else to happen to me. With my depression…i found a way to, umm, “ease” the pain. Slitting my wrists and legs. My right leg is scarred pretty bad now, and my left wrist, too. I didnt understand what I was doing to myself. Once again, Elena was there for me. She talked to me about it…and it worked. Not immediatly, but after after a week or so her words came back to me. For weeks I was six feet from suicide. AGAIN, Elena was there.

She told me that she would keep trying to help, but that in the end the only person who could really help me was me. And now her words make perfect sense, though back then they went into my head blurry and hidden.I was bulimic for a while. I am trying to end that now. I dont do it anymore…i hadnt for months when i did it the day before yesterday and yesterday. But im trying to stop.

The point is i dont want you to do this to yourself. Cya.

-anonymous, 13, CA